The Toyota 4Runner may not be the most comfortable to drive on road trips or come with the latest technology, but it’s still an incredible body-on-frame off-roader that you can expect to last for hundreds of thousands of miles. Sure, a lot of them are just used by McMansion owners for Costco runs and daily commutes, but you’re also going to have to try really hard to find a trail that they can’t handle with ease. If said trail happens to be Black Bear Pass near Telluride, Colorado, the San Miguel Sheriff’s Office wants you to stay the hell away. Please.
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To be clear, Black Bear Pass is closed. You’re not supposed to go there. If you hear rumors that it’s unofficially open, those rumors are wrong. Unfortunately for “more than a dozen” drivers, ignoring the fact that the trail was closed nearly caused a serious wreck. The driver of a red 4Runner got to a spot where they couldn’t keep going due to the risk of sliding right off the trail and rolling down the mountain. A rescue crew had to be sent out to get them all back to safety, which they were thankfully able to do, but understandably, the sheriff is not happy about having to do it.
“It is believed people drove up Black Bear Pass & dug out deep snow to be able to drive the pass. They posted on social media that the pass was unofficially open. Officially, Black Bear Pass is closed. Mitigation needs to be done including clearing rocks that can cause rockslides,” the sheriff tweeted. “It is your responsibility to know before venturing into the backcountry, whether hiking a trail, or driving on a pass, if the area is open and can be traveled safely. Black Bear Pass is dangerous, and you need experience and the right vehicle to navigate it safely.”
They then followed it up with another tweet that read, “Some people have it together and know what they’re doing, but some who venture up there are complete ass clowns. We may not be able to reach you if you have an emergency up there, so be prepared to abandon your vehicle, be stranded, or be seriously injured and inconvenienced.”
Now, we can’t say we necessarily agree with the sheriff calling these people complete ass clowns, but it’s not because we disapprove of swearing. Driving up a closed trail that you’re not supposed to be on in the first place, getting stuck, and needing to be rescued is certainly ass clown behavior. But is it complete ass clown behavior? Is there no higher level of ass clownery that one could possibly achieve? It seems unlikely, but then again, we’re not sociologists. Nobody at Jalopnik has a Ph.D. in ass clown behavior. At the very least, though, we can confirm that these are some certified ass clowns.
H/T: The Drive