Help with Insurance Policy

Question for you all on an insurance policy:

My sibling and I are 50/50 beneficiaries of a $400K Face Value Life Policy issued in 1985 by an AM Best A++ carrier. Policy is a “flex premium life w/adjustable death benefit to age 95 (expiring in 2039)

I began paying the policy in 2007 after parents divorced and dad had no money. He had accrued a $45K loan which I paid to him in cash to give him money to help settle a divorce. In total, I’ve paid about $70K between the loan and $35K in premiums over the past 15 years.

Annual billing is in October of each year, and the carrier does not allow me to handle any servicing of the policy online – I can only view the face value of the policy and make ‘guest payments’ to the policy. I receive nothing other than an email payment confirmation. After being pretty frustrated last year I took this up with corporate and asked for an ability to manage and view my policy online. After 3 months with “executive service” they did nothing.

I work in structured finance credit, so I wouldn’t say I’m financially challenged, but I’m also not an actuary. When I requested (multiple times) a copy of premium history, I got a sh*tty excel version listing the dates I made a payment, and the running total of premiums made. On multiple occasions in writing and via certified mail, I requested a breakdown of this to know what the planned premium and actual premium were, and was never provided with any documentation, even though there are specified maximum payments in my policy with respect to policy, expense, and mortality charges.

Do I not have the right/ability to demand this? Billed premiums have increased from $3K pre-COVID/interest rate increases to $5K for 2020, $7K for 2021, $13K for 2022, and now $16K for 2023.

The policy reflects maximum payments (mortality, policy and expense charges) annually which are never separated from the premium.

As I mentioned above, no accounting has ever been provided explaining to me what charges are actually being covered, what I’ve paid for, and that he planned premium cost is comprised off I’ve got the actual policy with several separate tables with max cost of insurance including policy fee, expense, and mortality charges, but the tables are segregated into the first $150K and second $250K, and then further separated into charges (I think from looking at the policy the initial value was $150K in 1985 when the policy was issued with another $250K added the subsequent year in 1986).

My MO over the last 15 years has to be furious, calm down, never get resolution, and continue on every year. At this point, I’d appreciate any suggestions, feedback, help of any kind on figuring out what to do here. I’m about to write a letter to the insurance commissioner as I’m pretty frustrated.

Thank you and please let me know if I’ve omitted something that y’all need to help figure this out.