Added to Spouse’s Standard Family Plan while Currently Having Family HDHP

Situation: My spouse and I have been under a HDHP with HSA through my (state) employer. This summer, my spouse was hired out of state as a state employee and elected to choose that employer’s standard family plan, with me as a dependent. The reason he added me was that this health plan had robust fertility coverage, something that my plan did not cover at all. His coverage went into effect 9/1.

Here’s where it gets complicated: I recently realized that according to the IRS, I cannot be covered under both a HDHP and a Standard plan. So I reached out to my employer’s HR and they referred me to the state benefits company because I am a state employee. The state benefits company is saying that my spouse and I gaining coverage is a qualifying status change event that would allow me to drop my husband (and myself) from my health insurance, but I cannot change my health insurance plan to an individual standard plan without waiting for open enrollment next month, with an effective date of 1/1/24. Nobody I have spoken to at HR or the state benefits company have any clue what the IRS will do on their end. The IRS does not appear to pick up the phone when called.

I would really like to keep my health insurance through my employer since it is actually better than my spouse’s except for one (really important to us) area, the premiums are super low even for a standard plan, and I am living in a different state from him (not sure that this matters because both insurance plans are through BCBS).

Is there any way around cancelling my own health insurance for 4 months? If I left things the way they are aside from dropping my spouse off my plan, does anyone know what the tax penalties would be for being under a HDHP and a Standard plan for 4 months? Would being under both plans affect coordination of benefits? Best option in this scenario?

Super frustrated with the health care system right now and hoping someone out there has an answer.